THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
by TREU
Summary: Umm...this is about what the Saiyuki characters thoughts about decisions they've made.This is my first attempt so pls R&R.Last part coming soon


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both…

                                   Robert Frost

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

"Shit." I cursed softly and dropped the burnt cigarette. It glow red before slowly dying out. I reach for another. Realizing that the pack  

 was empty, I crumpled it and threw it across the room, where it hit the wall.

Another streak of lightning lighted the dark sky, followed by the rumbling thunder. Rain came pouring down as if Heaven decided to 

open the flood gate. Rough wind shook the trees and rattled the windowpanes, howling like some sort of wild beast. And the coldness it brought….

Suddenly, unbidden, memories from one particular rainy night invaded my thoughts. I saw a younger version of myself kneeling on the ground. He was drenched to the skin, not by rain, but from shower of blood. I could almost feel the warm liquid as it trailed down my face, smell the metallic scent as it form a crimson puddle on the floor. In front of me, I saw a warm body that slowly turns icy as the soul departed. 

// He was no longer there// I thought.// Just a piece of meat and bones that was left to rot//

I felt empty. I wanted to cry, scream, anything that will make this feeling go away. But no tears came to wash away the blood that stained my entire being. I just stared at the gruesome reality, unable to speak, as other monks came rushing into the room and pulled me out.

// Why // I asked silently // Why did he pushed me aside and took the blow that was meant for me? //

I am not worth it.

I thought that I would die, too. I can't protect what mattered most to me. He died because I'm not strong enough. But to waste this life he traded his own for was certainly not what I'm going to do.

So I live, and left the temple. Funny how I manage to escape death again since the demons attacked that place shortly after my departure, apparently looking for another half of the Sutra that I now carried.

Then the picture shifted into another time. I am offering my hand toward a chained boy. I saw him reach for me. Those heavy manacles fell onto the ground and turned into dust. I really don't know why I took him in. I think it was a futile attempt to stop the incessant wailings in my head, only to have them permanently as a real thing. From that day on, he clung on me, followed me wherever I go like some sort of loyal pet, hence the reason I called him bakazaru. I can't shake him off no matter how many times I hit him, scold him and then hit him some more. 

Finally, I gave up. If he wants to stay, fine with me. He's free to go anytime he wants to. He stayed anyway, giving me a headache every now and then with his antics.

I let out a sigh. The rain had cease, pattering softly against the glass window. I slid into the blanket and close my eyes. We'll leave early tomorrow, so I'd better try to get some sleep.

Those choices I've made and the consequences that followed.

Regret? I've none.

I watched the young priest moping by the window. It's strange how his golden head shone with ethereal glow in the dark room. I decided kept my mouth shut as I stared at the low ceiling.

I remembered the time I had wake up to find myself in a similar room like this one. I thought I had died. But then another face came into view. He has long crimson hair and the same garnet eyes.

// A pity isn't it? // he said //That this isn't Hell //

I wanted to die. I really do.

Why should I live, when the one I love had die. With one single tear, she turned this world into a bloody chaos.

Why should I live, when my hands were too stained with blood? Blood from humans and demons, whom I killed without a second glance.

Maybe I just can't run away from my sins.

Then, this blonde monk came to face me for my crime. I ran away from him. I have one last thing to do, before I give myself up. 

Alas, I was even denied this one wish. The demon's palace had been burnt to ashes. Nothing was left. Even after death, I can't save her.

// You're free to die //

That seems like an option. It wasn't so bad for someone who was already half dead, anyway.

// If you don't, then live //

Do I want to live?

I am still here. I acquired a new name.

Cho Hakkai.

For new beginnings. For new future.

Perhaps this is my penance. To live each passing days.

I traced the ever short a lifeline on my palm and smiled. I saw her smiling back at me.

I think I can live a while longer.

That is my decision.


End file.
